USA

The World’s Largest Ball of Twine

Video posted on by moviebloke

(USA 2015)

Only in America can something like a ball of twine serve as a point of pride and a heated contest that continues after 50 years. But that’s exactly what it was for Francis Johnson of Darwin, Minnesota, and Frank Stoeber of Cawker City, Kansas, as the two competed in the “Battle of the Balls” for the prestigious title of “World’s Largest Ball of Twine.”

Trivial but amusing. I can relate to a schlep to Nowhere for no other purpose than the goofy thrill of seeing some bizarre roadside attraction like the world’s tallest thermometer (done it) or prairie dog (have not). I expected a more interesting execution of the story, though. The World’s Largest Ball of Twine does a nice job getting behind its subject matter—it just turns out that its subject matter isn’t all that interesting. Side note: the graphics looked cheap and gimmicky; intentional or not, this detracted from the experience.

(St. Anthony Main) C-

Minneapolis-St. Paul International Film Festival

http://prod3.agileticketing.net/WebSales/pages/info.aspx?evtinfo=123046~36893ed1-b0b9-423c-bbab-90f22d0aeafe&

Grey Gardens

Video posted on by moviebloke

(USA 1976)

Seminal semisweet documentary about “Big Edie” and “Little Edie” Bouvier Beale, the eccentric and probably mentally ill aunt and cousin of Jackie Kennedy Onassis living on a ramshackle estate in East Hampton, New York. Grey Gardens makes anyone who has ever appeared on Hoarders look like an amateur poseur. Just like any other train wreck, it’s impossible to look away even if it’s hard to watch at points. Yet, neither Edie seems miserable, wanting, or joyless. I guess whether you call it a happy or a sad film depends on perspective– something Albert and David Maysles no doubt intended.

In 2010, the United States Library of Congress deemed Grey Gardens “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” and selected it for preservation in the National Film Registry (https://www.loc.gov/programs/national-film-preservation-board/film-registry/complete-national-film-registry-listing/).

(Music Box) B

http://greygardensonline.com/the-documentary/

The Tales of Hoffmann

Posted on by moviebloke

(USA 1951)

OMG, what the fuck is this? Yes, it’s the operatic epic of Hoffmann (though I still have no idea who the fuck he is) and three of the loves of his life. But…dude, man, FUCK!

Written, directed, and produced by famed Brits the Archers–Michael Powell and Emetic Pressburger–The Tales of Hoffman is an old school movie they just don’t make anymore. Visually, a stunning Technicolor wet dream complete with elaborate dance numbers, lavish costumes, and big trippy-ass sets. It’s serious eye candy with a major gay sensibility (I have no idea whether Powell and Pressburger were gay or not). It’s impressive for its scale alone, and certainly is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

But what the fuck just happened? Clocking in at just over two hours, I thought The Tales of Hoffmann would never end. It’s pretty, but it’s long–it seems longer than it is. For me, it was probably sensory overload with not enough plot. Did I mention, what the FUCK?

(Music Box) D

http://www.rialtopictures.com/hoffmann.html

Nightcrawler

Video posted on by moviebloke

(USA 2014)

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Lou Bloom, a creepy robot-like unemployed thirty-nothing scamming for any work he can get. He quickly discovers he is good at “nightcrawling”—trolling L.A. for accidents and deaths that he can record and sell to a sensationalist local news station.

Like Taxi Driver, Dan Gilroy’s Nightcrawler paints a scathingly dim picture of urban American life with broad strokes of emotional and moral vacancy. It’s an interesting idea and boasts decent performances, but it moves too slowly too often. Perhaps it was intentional, but something about the look rings hollow and low budget. It didn’t leave a strong impression on me, but I can see Nightcrawler as a late night TV staple for generations to come.

(Home via iTunes) C+

http://nightcrawlerfilm.com

Cinderella

Video posted on by moviebloke

(USA 2015)

What’s to say, really? Kenneth Branagh’s reboot of the classic cartoon was pretty much what I expected, Disney milquetoast and all. Lily James makes a good Cinderella, and Cate Blanchett makes an even better evil stepmother. Two things I enjoyed: the backstory the original did not tell and the prince’s (Richard Madden) junk showing through the white tights he wore in every scene. Helena Bonham Carter, downright magical as the fairy godmother, stole the show; her scene was by far the best if only for how giddy it made me.

(AMC 600 North Michigan) C

http://movies.disney.com/cinderella

Maps to the Stars

Video posted on by moviebloke

(USA 2014)

David Cronenberg’s satire of the film industry and fame in general. Drifter Agatha (Mia Wasikowska) from Jupiter (Florida, not the planet) shows up in L.A. to hook up with Carrie Fisher—who makes a brief cameo—and is hired as the personal assistant of whack job actress Havana Segrand (Julianne Moore). Agatha has an odd obsession with fading child star Benjie Weiss (Evan Bird), whose father (John Cusack) happens to be Segrand’s “healer.” Robert Pattinson costars as Jerome, Agatha’s hired driver and an aspiring actor/screenwriter.

Hollywood loves to make snarky movies about itself, and this cynical little tale is no exception. Though not the same movie, Maps to the Stars is cut from the same cloth as maybe The Player. The ending left me with a lot of fodder to ponder and discuss, but the story as a whole lacks something– maybe wit? Bite? Excitement? I don’t know, but Maps to the Stars is not Cronenberg’s best work even if it stands on its own. The strong performances all around are what elevate it from what is potentially a low-end David Lynch knock-off.

(Music Box) B-

http://mapstothestarsfilm.com

She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry

Video posted on by moviebloke

(USA 2014)

Mary Dore’s documentary about the rise, dissipation, and resurgence of women’s liberation paints a broad (no pun intended) picture of the movement itself while honing in on the many factions within it—lesbians, black chicks, even witches. Thorough, balanced, and fun, Dore’s ultimate point, sadly, is that American society has pretty much come full circle retrograde on many women’s issues like abortion and childcare. Not a dull moment, and well worth the time spent seeing it.

(Music Box) B+

http://www.shesbeautifulwhenshesangry.com

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Video posted on by moviebloke

(USA 2015)

Matthew Vaughn’s adaptation of the comic book The Secret Service by Dave Gibbons and Mark Millar is, in a word, “eh.” Sadly, not even a big budget and above-average performances by big-name talent (Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, and Michael Caine to name just a few) salvaged this silly, boring imitation of a James Bond flick.

(AMC River East) D+

http://www.kingsmanmovie.com

What We Do in the Shadows

Video posted on by moviebloke

(USA/New Zealand 2014)

Ever wonder what This Is Spinal Tap might look like mixed with Big Brother and, oh, say True Blood? Me, either, but the result, evidenced by this little gem, is pretty damned funny.

A group of vampires of varying ages– Viago (Taika Waititi), Deacon (Jonathan Brugh), Vladislav (Jemaine Clement), and Peytr (Ben Fransham)– share a house in a New Zealand city. They have the typical housemate drama: one mate fails to clean up the blood from victims and another gets his roomies into tiffs with rival werewolves. The usual stuff. The storyline here involves the cute but annoying Nick (Cori Gonzalez-Macuer), a newbie in need of adapting to the ropes of vampire life, and his best bud, Stu (Stuart Rutherford), on whom the housemates develop a little man crush. Wicked fun!

(Music Box) B

http://whatwedointheshadows.com

 

Cool Hand Luke

Video posted on by moviebloke

(USA 1967)

Who cuts the heads off parking meters in a drunken haze? Who sidesteps prison kingpin Dragline (George Kennedy) and bluffs his way through poker? Who paves a road in one day, and comes out of solitary confinement whistling? Who eats 50 hard boiled eggs, but manages to inspire his cellmates to eat rice for him? Fucking Cool Hand Luke (Paul Newman), that’s who. This classic prison drama is based on the 1965 novel of the same name by Donn Pearce.

The last time I saw Cool Hand Luke, I was in high school. I don’t remember it moving so slowly. Despite its many charms, a great story certainly not being the least of them, I got bored. What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate. “Plastic Jesus,” however, is awesome.

In 2005, the United States Library of Congress deemed Cool Hand Luke “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” and selected it for preservation in the National Film Registry (https://www.loc.gov/programs/national-film-preservation-board/film-registry/complete-national-film-registry-listing/).

(Home via iTunes) B